turn on:

your new piece. you playing that. its like. hispanic on top of hispanic. what could possibly be better?

ayn rand

-every man creates his meaning
-emphasizing the harmony of the steel skeleton within, as a body reveals the perfection of its bones
-imitators copy imitations
-the eyes were dark, young, living
-no such thing as free will, since man's creative impulses were determined, as all else, by the economic structure of the epoch in which they lived
-they are not to assert their little egos, but to express the soul of their country and the rhythm of their time
-"Vox populi"
-a face one could never remember...gently hopeless
-marriage is old fashioned, an economic device to perpetuate the institution of private property
-he had to choke the knowledge, he had to kill the vision
-the public taste and te public heart are the final criteria of the artist. the genius is the one who knows how to express the general
-a kind of sub-reality, unsubstantial incidents in the path of a substance they could not reach or touch

shit

im so in love with this piece its crazy. its harrrdddd as anything but im determined to get evey part of it down. i feel like it was made for me. i love it. im in love with it. lovelovelove. i want your love.
aghhh. julie0julieo. getting emotional is good sometimes. and much needed for me. every once in awhile its good to get a little pissed off and just tell it like it is. it helps. so now its just time to get better. all around, just get better. im fucking ready.

ready elly? ready.

imsohyperhyperhyperhyperhyper. :)

:)

you were tangible.

im starting to feel it

and. im done. its 1:25 am and im finally finished. godddddd. what took me so long? either way im finished with the thing. do i give it to you now? it kinda sucks...

blahblahblahblahblahblah

i was so wierd today. during school great mood. then i get all quiet and...not happy. on the way to gsa, great mood. get to gsa, not happy. then im fine. then im annoyed. then im kinda sad. then im pissed. then i just wanted to be alone. something would happen to make me smile...talk even....then i would get all gloomy and nostalgic. and no matter how many times you made me laugh, i always sank right back down. got annoyed a little more. then sad. then left. got in the car told my parents about my grades, then shutup. i didnt feel like talking to them. ate dinner, was happy. got back in the car.PISSED. fell asleep on the way home. got home, now attempting to do homework. my contacts are killing me.

now i feel.....

am i sure...

mhm.
i wish i could go with you. that would make it alot easier. just stick me in your pocket and take me with you. please. im sick of high school. and i want to spend everyday with you. please....

i just threw up a little

i was called a granola today.
what does that mean?
english exammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.eh.
eh eh eh.
visited lee anne levin stevahn. one of the best people i know. favorite teacher. it was awesome. we were laughing and talking and just catching up. it was great. jozy was with me and talking to her too. she was telling her about how she's trying to find a prom date and everything. i was so scared that ms.s was going to ask me if i had a guy. i dont know why i was scared. i dont think she would care if i was gay. i just dont know her thoughts on all that. dont want to lose the relationship i guess. god, im always scared of that. losing relationships. then again, im scared of starting them.sooooooo.
then got home. ate shit. well, not shit...but you know, food. yea. then watched some natgeo. about the bonobo monkies. they are my favorite. they communicate through sex.
now i going to go study. practice. then, i dont know what. foock. im bored. maybe i'll.....

day 5/5

mhm.
:)
finally.

elly, stop.

i keep eating. this isnt good. its not like junk food or anything. i just made some pasta. before that was cereal. then icecream (i had to) and then chips and guac. ok half junk, half not junk.....
either way!
YOUCOMEHOMETODAY.
yes.